Ego Is Taught To Children By Their Parents & Others

By Pamela J. Wells

You see ego in action at an early age. Children learn ego from their parents and their peers by putting labels on others, such as beautiful/ugly, smart/stupid, good/bad, weak/strong, normal/weird, etc., and then children take those labels and lash out, with their ego crown on, through bullying and teasing other children. This is considered the norm in our society—identifying ourselves as being separate from others, constantly competing with others and trying to prove that we are worth something, that we are better than others, stronger than others, that we are special, that we are popular; because, deep down inside we feel empty. That is why nothing ever changes. Until adults realize and recognize that they have to drop their ego—their false and imaginary idea of themself and others—and not teach it to their children, not teach them to put labels on other children and people, kids are going to continue to torment other kids through bullying and labeling.

With adults seeing bullying as a normal part of childhood, nothing changes, and then you have children either repeating what was done to them to others, or growing up with these scars from childhood and self-medicating with alcohol/drugs, and/or even worse, committing suicide or murder. It is considered the norm for boys to display their strength and show aggression towards others, especially to others who appear weaker. It is considered the norm for young girls to manipulate and play mind games with other girls, backstabbing, peer pressure, causing other girls to feel that they are not a part of the group, teasing, taunting, and competing with each other to get boys attention. These are not considered life skills that our children need to be learning to prepare for adulthood. If we cannot learn how to communicate in a healthy and an effective manner towards one another as children then we carry our toxic ways of communicating up through adulthood and then wonder why our life is so miserable.

When it comes to the public school system, their primary focus is on academics and grades; but, they can, at the very least, have speakers come in every year to give talks on bullying and how to prevent it, and they also have to hold children accountable for bullying. There also needs to be programs outside of school where children and parents can go to, where they can discuss issues with bullying and find solutions. We can provide children with the necessary tools to create a better, more psychologically healthier life for themselves that also has a positive effect on others. We cannot control the way others think, behave, and act, but we can control ourselves and we can be a positive influence on others.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved