Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Let the Energy of the Sun 
Warm Your Soul 
And the Wind 
Lift Your Spirits 
High Above the Clouds, 
Reaching & Expanding 
Outward, Throughout the Universe.

~Pamela J. Wells~

Monday, January 30, 2012

Kindness, compassion, giving and sharing is the bridge of love that connects us to one another.

~Pamela J. Wells~

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Selfless & Deserving

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 29, 2012

There is your true nature and there is your false self (your ego). When I say selfless, I mean egoless. Your true nature is interconnected to everyone and everything. It is absent the ego, absent the identification with the body-mind, which creates an illusory appearance of a separate self. When I say deserving, I mean deserving a great life that you create. It does not mean demanding others give you what you deserve. It has nothing to do with anything external to you. You create a great life, which can only be achieved when you remove all of the obstacles that you have put before you, that hide your true nature of joy and peace, which has no feelings of lack.

It is possible to be both selfless and deserving. How can you be selfless and deserving at the same time? Being selfless is about listening and giving unconditionally, not thinking, “What’s in it for me?” It is about having compassion for others and helping others. It is about seeing our interconnectedness with others, with all life, even though we appear different on the outside. If we look at a deeper level, we know that we are all connected by the same life force. When I say that you deserve a great life, I am talking about you deserve to feel great about yourself (but not superior to others) and to live your life from that feeling and knowing, without the need for acceptance from anybody else. This is not about ego or conceit. You deserve to enjoy your life. You deserve to live a great life and any feeling of lack about yourself interferes with you living life to the fullest. That great feeling that comes from inside, that joy in your heart, from your spirit, from that innocence that you were born with, gets covered up by the mind and the ego (the false self) and the pain and suffering that comes with it.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Negative Self-Talk

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: 1-29-12

You may subconsciously look for things that reaffirm your thoughts and feelings of unworthiness or of worthlessness. You reaffirm your feelings of not being good enough, not talented enough, not smart enough—whatever you may feel that you are lacking. You try to quiet the negative self-talk, but you subconsciously are looking for that reaffirmation that you are not good enough. You look for others to reaffirm your negative thoughts of what you think you are lacking, whether it be family, friends, or acquaintances. You may even seek out these people and start a conversation on a particular topic that you know subconsciously is going to reaffirm how you feel about yourself. You have to realize and acknowledge when you are doing this or are about to do it. When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, you have to change them to positive thoughts. When someone is talking to you negatively, reaffirming how you feel about yourself, you have to wake up and realize what is happening, what that person is saying to you, and not get pulled into their toxic way of communicating and behavior. Whatever they are saying is there problem. Not yours. Remember that. Do not allow them to continue to tear you down. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, kind, and caring.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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We settle for less when we think that we do not deserve more.

~Pamela J. Wells


Like a flower just starting to bloom
Reaching towards the sun
Your petals open up
And expand with energy
From the sun’s rays

Like a painter who paints
Her creations
As her brush Strokes
The canvass ever so lightly
Flowing freely
With Inspiration and Wonder

Like a guitarist who hears
His creations before he even
Touches a string
Waves of melody dance
From his fingertips

A flow of creativity, never ending
Possibilities abound

Look out your window
And smile at the suns energy
The sun that has
never overlooked you
Was there all along
Waiting for you to see it too.

Dancing creativity
Flowing through me
I have now released you
Freeing all that we can be

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

You Are The Navigator Of Your Destiny

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 28, 2012

When everything starts flowing in your life,  as a result of your thoughts, you find that you are the creator of your life in each and every moment,  and with every action that you take —it seems effortless—continue in that direction. You have the power to create your world. Do not let your environment, other people or your situation, dictate your life. Do not react to your world and take actions based upon that reaction. Create your world. Figure out what it is exactly that you want to achieve or that you want to bring to fruition in your life and take action towards achieving it, while at the same time remembering that you must have a balance of action and no-action, which means that there must be time that you take to be with yourself, in silence, in nature, through meditation, and balancing that with action. Without that balance, flow will not happen. If you take action, yet neglect the other, your life will not be in harmony.

Silent Awareness

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 28, 2012

“There is no such thing as peace of mind. 
Mind means disturbance; restlessness itself is mind.”
~Nisargadatta Maharaj

The natural feeling of peace comes to you only after you have released your egoic thoughts and silenced your mind through regular, daily meditation, or through spending time in nature. When you do this on a regular basis, you begin to feel that natural feeling of peace, love, and joy in your heart, which then radiates outward to everyone that you come into contact with.

You have to let go of your negative thoughts and emotions, your faulty and false perception of yourself and everyone  around you. You have to stop replaying your past in your mind over and over again. Your mind is like a tape recorder. It records everything, words, images, situations, and experiences—and if something or someone, in your past, had a strong impact on you emotionally, for whatever reason, that gets replayed more than anything else. In order for you to be present and peaceful now and not living in the past, you need to stop the mental tape recorder—stop the never-ending loop of thoughts of the past, which can only be done by changing your thinking to positive thoughts, living fully in the present moment, and silencing your mind.

Ego = Pain + Suffering

By Pamela J. Wells

Our identity with our self and our judgment of others keeps us asleep, unconscious. It keeps us from being at peace with ourselves and others. Ego is the primary cause of pain and suffering in families, communities, countries, and the world.

The Ego Is An Illusion, but the Problem Herein Lies, When We Believe That We Are The Ego.

The Ego is your false self. You have to wake-up from that self. To be at total peace with the world and everyone around you, including yourself, you have to wake up from your identity. In order to do that, you have to lose yourself—lose your false self. Forget about yourself. Forget about your illusory separateness from everyone around you, even the people with whom you do not like or even feel hate for. Your ego, your thoughts about who you think you are, creates separation between you and everyone else. Your ego only causes pain and suffering.

Ego Is Not Attractive

Many times, people like it when they are told that they have a big ego. They think that it validates their worthiness, their superiority over others, that it makes them important, makes them stand out from others. It does make them stand out from others. They stand out from others, but not in a good way. They are alone and empty inside, craving attention, but they cannot find it. Yet it continues to be a vicious cycle of repeated delusional thoughts and behavior that can never be filled up with anything. It is like a gaping hole inside of you that makes you feel like you are invisible, insignificant, and worthless, so in order to attempt to fill that hole, one has to build himself or herself up, so that he or she will not feel invisible; however, others are turned off by that ego and end up shutting down when around that person or they choose to not have anything to do with that person anymore. 

Ego is likened to a pair of eyes that can only see our physical differences from others, our differences in our appearance, the way we look, and our differences in what we have, material objects. Ego identifies individuals and groups of individuals through labels that it creates based upon those differences, as well through labels used to describe the “status” of an individual or group in a society. The ego begins to separate, dissect, and categorize individuals and groups of individuals based upon faulty and false ideas and perceptions. Ego is not attractive. It is a negative energy that pushes people away and causes the person with the ego to feel feelings of loneliness and separation.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved
Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

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Into The Depths of Despair

Pamela J. Wells

My life began to crumble into the depths of despair. I hit rock bottom, not just one time, but several times. I struggled with alcoholism for 14 long, painful years. I was depressed most of the time and went through periods of extreme depression and even had thoughts of suicide many times throughout my adult life. I tried to drink my problems and my self-loathing away, but it only compounded the problem. I thought that I was never going to be able to pull myself up out of it and I surely wasn’t going to be able to do that while in a relationship, especially with someone who was drinking just as much as I was.

I tried different recovery programs, which helped me to understand the addiction better, but it took a very long time before I finally could not take it anymore and decided that I could not go on like that—living a miserable life. The one thing that I did take away from an outpatient program that I was in that was vital in me becoming sober was that when you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol or anything else, you are Always In Control of whether you drink or not, use drugs or not. It is common for people who are struggling with addiction to say that they are out of control. I was one of those people. It is not true, because we are the ones picking up the drink and putting it to our mouth. We are the ones using the drugs. It doesn’t matter if someone brings you alcohol or drugs, you are the one who drinks it, not them. You are the one using the drug. They are not putting a gun to your head and forcing you to use. Before you can even think about becoming sober or drug free, you have to acknowledge and accept responsibility that:

You Are Always In Control, Whether You Use or Do Not Use

You have to say to yourself, “I am in control and it is up to me to stop drinking. It is up to me to stop using drugs, and nobody else. Nobody, nothing external to me makes me drink, makes me use drugs. I acknowledge and take full responsibility for my alcohol/drug use and I have the power to stop it. I have the power to stop drinking and I have the power to stop using drugs.”

I wanted something completely different in my life. There was so much that I wanted to do, but I did none of it, and the things that I enjoyed doing, I stopped doing, because all my life consisted of was alcohol, depression, and misery. If I wasn’t drinking, I was sleeping. I finally decided, it was either me or the alcohol. It was either me or death. It was like I was not even alive. I was basically, already, the living dead, like a zombie. It made no sense, to appear to be alive, but my spirit seemed to be dead, yet I was full of emotional turmoil.

After short durations of sobriety, I ended up relapsing several times and finally managed to stop drinking completely and maintained my sobriety, which I was able to do when I realized that the only way to quit drinking is if I changed my thoughts every time a thought of alcohol popped up into my head. I knew that if I allowed myself to continue thinking about alcohol after that first thought that popped up, that within only a matter of seconds, it was like a switch was turned on in my brain and I started to fantasize about drinking, imagining myself drinking and how it felt, and once I experienced that in my mind and that switch flipped on, like a green light saying, “Go,” I knew I was going to drink, and the next thing I would do is go straight to the liquor store.

Even though I knew that I had to stop drinking, I also knew that I had to change my thinking, change my thoughts and perceptions about everything, about life, about myself, about other people; otherwise, the sobriety would be short lived and I would be back to a state of depression, hopelessness, misery and suffering. It was a long and very hard road that I know is always there, waiting for me around the corner, waiting for me to give up and travel down it again, if I allow myself to. Now, I seldom think about that time in my life, but when I do, I think about how miserable I was and all of the pain and suffering that I put on myself and that I put my family through—and now that road and life doesn’t look so glamorous anymore. I also had to stop associating with people who drank and I stayed away from places that served alcohol.

Once I gave up alcohol, I had to figure out why I drank and I had to figure out what I was thinking and feeling about myself that was driving me to drink and what I was trying to escape from. I had to change my thinking, so that I could live my life filled with peace and joy, instead of pain and suffering. It was an emotional journey that I lived for so long, but then it became a spiritual journey, that ultimately enabled me to reach a self-awareness about myself, to wake up from the dream that I was living.

If you are addicted to alcohol or drugs, there are plenty of resources out there to help you in your recovery from it. I recommend trying everything, because you may find that you like one program more than the other, or you may want to participate in a couple of programs. You can find a local Alcoholics Anonymous in your area or other recovery groups. There are in-patient and out-patient programs. I found an out-patient program that I really liked. It was great because, not only do you get to meet people who are going through the same things you are, but you also have a group facilitator who is trained in addiction and recovery and many times have recovered from addiction themselves, so they know first hand what it is like going through it.

Below are some great resources to get help with recovering from addiction. There are many different resources out there, but these are a few of the main ones that I know of. There are also other programs, such as in-patient and outpatient programs locally, but you will need to do an internet search in your local area for those. I will be adding more recovery websites to the list as I come across them.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Swept Away By Emotions

Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 27, 2012

We can easily get swept away by our emotions, which comes from our thinking; so, in order to rein in our emotions, we must rein in our thinking. You can start by practicing watching your thoughts, becoming consciously aware of your thoughts and then just sit there and let them go, release them, so that your mind is silent. You will find that, within only a few seconds, your mind is already back to that endless flow of thoughts and chatter.

This is something that you will need to practice, watching your thoughts and releasing them. It will take some time for you to get this down, but if you want to change your life, to be at your natural state of peace, and live your life to the fullest, uncontaminated by negative thinking and ways of perceiving the world and yourself, the only way that you are going to be able to do that is by being consciously aware of your thoughts, changing them to more positive thoughts, as well as through silencing your mind. The more that you do this, the easier it gets. Once you get a glimpse of the peacefulness from no thought, from silence, from stillness, you will want to continue to feel that.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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For One Day

By Pamela J. Wells

For one day—try taking the focus off of yourself for one whole day—what you want, your expectations of others, what they can do for you, how you would be happier if they just changed. Everyone that you come into contact with, for that one day, focus on listening to them, find something great about them, and compliment them on it. Even if you find it hard to find something positive about a particular person, find something positive about them anyway, it is there. Try this for one whole day. And when you lay your head down to go to sleep at night, focus on how you feel inside. You will want more days like this.

Projecting The Past Into The Future: Identification With Opinions

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 27, 2011

We live in the past and taint the future with what we believe is who we are based on others opinions of who we are. We may have had a supportive person or some supportive people throughout our lives, who were kind to us, but instead of acknowledging that we focused on those people who were unkind to us, which resulted in us feeling bad about ourselves and, in some cases, made us feel worthless as human beings—when in reality—we felt bad about ourselves because we believed what they said. They didn’t cause us to feel bad about ourselves.

When you are a small child and there are people who say unkind things to you and about you, your tendency to believe what they say is even higher than if you only experienced that kind of behavior from people while you are an adult. This happens when you don’t trust yourself and trust in that knowing inside of you that knows better. Some people can be very cruel, because they never learned the appropriate way to communicate with others, so their lives became difficult and miserable. Their negative way of communicating only created conflict with others, leading to anger and bitterness within them as well as with the people they came into contact with.

The negative things that other people have said or have done to you in the past does not describe you, does not define you, it does not identify you as this or that, or less than. It is just a reflection of them and their need to lash out from their own mental and emotional suffering and misery that they are going through personally.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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True Nature is Always There With or Without You.

By Pamela J. Wells

No matter where you are, your true nature is always there. Your false self, the ego, covers up your true nature of peace and joy. When you are not excessively thinking, when you silence your mind, your mental chatter, you are able to just be--in awareness. You are able to relax and feel at peace.

Feeling your true nature and being at peace is possible no matter where you are, or what is around you or who is around you, undisturbed by externalities of phenomena or internalities of the mind and its endless chatter, undisturbed by perceptions, not fighting, not rejecting, not resisting, just being, filled with peace and joy.

True nature is always there with or without you.
True nature is effortless.

Whether you are just being or not, at peace or not, it is always there. Most of the time, it just covered up by the ego and cannot be felt. You cannot be at peace with ego. It has to be released. When you are trying to control another person or situation, when you are judging and placing labels on others, when you are belittling others in an attempt to feel better about yourself, to feel superior to others, this is the ego. Let it go. Release it.

When you find yourself upset, unsettled, or angry,  remember to return to your true nature, silence your mind, and then you will feel at peace. When you do this, those who are around you and who may be in turmoil or in a consuming state of egoic consciousness will be able to feel your peaceful presence coming from you, radiating outward from within.

When you are just being your true nature, you provide that space around you that is naturally at peace and unfilled by ego, by faulty and false perceptions, by judgment, which allows a space for others to be free to be themselves, their true nature, without feeling threatened or defensive. The energy level of the environment raises to a higher level of consciousness and becomes an environment of peace and joy.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Worry & Fear: Let It Go

By Pamela J. Wells

Constantly worrying about problems or other people sabotages, not only your peace and joy, but it sabotages the peace and joy of those who are around you, especially the person with whom you are worrying about. It creates overwhelming feelings of anxiety and stress.

Worrying about problems does not change the problem, it changes you. It causes unnecessary stress, mentally, emotionally, and physically—creating fertile ground for psychological and physical ailments, such as anxiety, depression, and disease. When you are constantly worried about someone, you are not only creating unnecessary stress for yourself, but you are creating unnecessary stress for the person with whom you are worrying about. You want them to be happy, but you sabotage their happiness through your worry and fear, such as the fear that something bad might happen to them; whether it be your kids or other loved ones.

You Have To Let It Go.
Let Go of Fear & Let Go of Worry.

When you are struggling with a problem, but you do not know how to handle it or what to do or if you should do anything, continuing to think about it will not bring the solution. The mind creates blocks. You have to silence your mind and become still. When you let go, surrender to it completely. You will be overcome with feelings of peace and contentment.

Find a quiet place, sit down, and allow yourself to Let Go—Surrender. Let go and surrender your fear and worry, whether it is over another person or a problem, Let It Go. You are not letting go of your love for them. You are letting go of your fear that something might happen to them. You are letting go of worrying about them. If it is a problem, you are letting go of the fear and worry about the problem. You do what you can, if you can, if it is action that you need to take, but you do not worry about it or dwell on it. Whatever the problem is—it is what it is, and either you can change it or you cannot; either way, do what you can, but do not worry about it. Let It Go.

There are plenty of meditation techniques out there to choose from, but the most simplest and basic technique is to sit in a comfortable position, relax your body and your mind by focusing on you in-breath and your out-breath, breathing in slowly and breathing out slowly. Do not resist or fight the thoughts that come to you, just see them as they come and let them go easily, and return to focusing on your breath. Continue to do this and with practice you will be able to quiet your mind, you will feel more at ease and peaceful, and when you do have to make a decision or choice, you will be doing so from an uncluttered, clear mind, and you will be able to feel and trust that inner knowing that is naturally within you that will guide you in the right direction.

Free Yourself 
from the
Cage of 
Fear and Worry.
Let Your Spirit Soar.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Compassion & Good Deeds Unites Humanity, Creating a Better World for ALL

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 24, 2012

In order to have compassion for others, we have to release ego’s hold on us, to actively and unconditionally contribute good deeds to others, which ultimately causes a chain reaction of compassion and good deeds throughout the world that transcends boundaries, geographically and culturally, regardless of one’s beliefs—uniting the world, uniting people, to consciously participate in creating a better world.

Without a healthy planet there would be no people. Without a compassionate and loving society there is no unity, but only suffering and separation, that ultimately destroys humanity. To be more compassionate towards others we have to step back and take a look at ourselves and what is holding us back from fully embracing one another. At the end of the day we have to ask ourselves a question, “How do I feel?”

Most of the time, when we feel unsettled, angry, jealous, or bitter, we are focused on our "Self," what we think we deserve, what we should be getting, and what others are not giving us. If we forget about our Self and only think of others, having compassion for others, finding ways to help and being kind to others, then we will feel good inside, feel love and joy, radiating outward from within.

When you are grasping, you are not getting. 
When you are giving, unconditionally,
you are also receiving love in return.
Being selfless frees everyone including your self.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Living Consciously

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 23, 2012

Most people live life unconsciously. Their mind and emotions drive everything that they do and do not do. They go through a continuous loop of repeated thoughts, behaviors, and motions (movements) every day that revolve around negativity, and faulty and false perceptions of themselves and others, which effects every aspect of their life—how they communicate with others, the quality of their relationships, the actions they take or do not take every day.

When you are living unconsciously it is easy for you to be distracted by things that take you away from what you really want to change or do. Every aspect of your life affects other aspects of your life, so when there is one thing that you’re not taking care of, you get distracted easily, you find yourself repeating the same old patterns of behavior, and you feel powerless to change.

Always remember that your mind is your enabler, enabling you to continuously repeat bad habits and behavior, causing you to avoid making positive choices in your life. Instead of living consciously in each moment, we project our past regrets and disappointments into the future by keeping the past active in our mind. When you become aware of your faulty and false perceptions and start living your life consciously in each moment, instead of in the past and the future, you are able to ultimately change your life from one that is unpleasant and stressful to one that is filled with joy and peace.

           Thich Nhat Hanh said that, "Life is available only in the here and now, the 
           present moment," and he also quoted the Buddha, "The past is already gone,
           the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live, and that is
           the present moment." 

When you find yourself or catch yourself caught-up in that endless cycle of repeated negative thinking, behavior, or avoidance, stop what you are doing and take a moment to reflect on what you do want, and then be still and quiet. When you are still and quiet, no mental chatter, you will be overcome with a feeling of serenity, peace and calm. Thoughts may popup, in an attempt to distract you, but you bring yourself back to that inner stillness and quiet mind. You continue doing this every chance you get; especially, when you catch yourself repeating that old pattern of negative thinking and behavior, which is present-moment-past, projected into the future.

The rewards of being present, being conscious and aware in each and every moment, taking positive action when action is needed, and taking time to silence the mind and be still, are so great, that once you start to feel the peaceful effects of it, just the thought of anything else, of staying stuck, of unconsciousness, of non-presence, of negative action, inaction, or avoidance is unimaginable and highly undesirable.

Be in the moment. Live your life in each and ever moment, fully present in everything you do. Take time every day to quiet your mind, whether it is through meditation or just being in nature. The more that you are able to do this, the more at peace you will be when you are alone and when you are in the presence of others. You will begin to see your relationships improving with your family and others, resulting in better communication, more openness, and less stress and tension; and, you will also find that you are able to think more clearly and make better choices in your life.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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Start today afresh, living life filled with joy and happiness, that is not tainted by the past.

~by Pamela J. Wells