Friday, January 27, 2012

Projecting The Past Into The Future: Identification With Opinions

By Pamela J. Wells
Published: January 27, 2011

We live in the past and taint the future with what we believe is who we are based on others opinions of who we are. We may have had a supportive person or some supportive people throughout our lives, who were kind to us, but instead of acknowledging that we focused on those people who were unkind to us, which resulted in us feeling bad about ourselves and, in some cases, made us feel worthless as human beings—when in reality—we felt bad about ourselves because we believed what they said. They didn’t cause us to feel bad about ourselves.

When you are a small child and there are people who say unkind things to you and about you, your tendency to believe what they say is even higher than if you only experienced that kind of behavior from people while you are an adult. This happens when you don’t trust yourself and trust in that knowing inside of you that knows better. Some people can be very cruel, because they never learned the appropriate way to communicate with others, so their lives became difficult and miserable. Their negative way of communicating only created conflict with others, leading to anger and bitterness within them as well as with the people they came into contact with.

The negative things that other people have said or have done to you in the past does not describe you, does not define you, it does not identify you as this or that, or less than. It is just a reflection of them and their need to lash out from their own mental and emotional suffering and misery that they are going through personally.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

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