Attachment Is Not Love

By Pamela J. Wells

When you become attached to someone, you lose your Self in them, and—at the same time—they either lose themselves in you or they start to back away from you. Eventually, their free spirit will feel like it has become suffocated, because they will have that heavy feeling of attachment weighing them down, like an anchor. 
Appearances are also deceiving. They can both appear to be in love and affectionate towards one another, especially in the beginning of the relationship; but, ultimately, if there is any form of attachment, it always leads to heartache and suffering. Claiming ownership of another living being is futile. The same goes for placing expectations on others. Expectations are attachments to outcomes that are in your favor. Attachment and attempts towards trying to control another comes from fear—fear of the other leaving and/or being unfaithful to you. 
The more you try to control another, the more powerless and fearful you become, and if you are stronger than the other person and use it to control them physically, this is physical and psychological abuse. It does not work either, because you are attempting to secure the attachment through physical force. Holding on tightly and squeezing someone—like you would a dove—only kills it, kills them, psychologically—and, unfortunately, in some cases, physically. 
When you go into a relationship, never become attached, never place expectations on the other person, and never put a timetable on the relationship, expecting that it will last forever. The relationship will either last a lifetime or it won’t. No one knows for certain. Your joy does not come from another person. It comes from within. Expecting someone else to make you happy or to bring you joy always ends in heartache and suffering. Two joyful, joy-filled, people who come together, have a better chance of lasting than when one or both are fearful and insecure.
Enjoy each moment, each day, regardless of whether you are with someone or not. The more joyful and peaceful you are when you are alone, the more joyful and peaceful your relationships will be.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Feel free to add a comment, if there is anything that you would like to add or any experiences that you would care to share.

Quote

Happiness Is Fleeting. True Joy Comes From Within.
~Pamela J. Wells

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Daily Inspiration

Like a fresh flower waking up,  absorbing the sun as it begins to rise,  every day is a new day to start fresh,  energized and full of life,  uplifted and inspired,  the energy of the sun raises  you up for a new beginning. 
~Pamela J. Wells

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Daily Inspiration

You Are 100% Complete! No Attachments Needed or Necessary!
~Pamela J. Wells

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Quote

Your True Self is Spirit—Pure Awareness—Uncontaminated By the Dualistic Mind. 
~ Pamela J. Wells

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

What Is Spirituality?

By Pamela J. Wells

Spirituality is not “New Age,” nor is it a religion. Spirituality comes from the root word “Spirit.” Spirit is not limited by time and space—the body is. Spirit existed before language and thoughts were formed, before religion. To live a spiritual life is to live from spirit, from your true nature of peace and joy—and not from the egoic mind that creates separation, pain and suffering. 
Some other terms used to describe spirit include: pure awareness, pure consciousness, essence, pure being, self (the true self, not the egoic, imaginary “I” self that becomes attached to notions and things) and formless existence-consciousness.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

The Ego’s Workshop

By Pamela J. Wells

Ego is the imaginary ideas, notions and beliefs we have about ourselves. The mind churns out separation, pain and suffering through notions and beliefs. Attachments to them—judging, labeling oneself and others, fault-finding and comparing oneself to another is the ego at work in its imaginary workshop.
The egoic mind will find anything to argue with another person about. Peace does not come from the mind. It comes from pure awareness, which does not have the chattering mind running and analyzing things. Looking for fault in others, criticizing, and attempts at making another person wrong—fault finding—comes from the ego. You even see this in spiritual circles, fault finding or right fighters, who are coming from a place of an egoic state of consciousness. 
When you argue with another person, it doesn’t matter who started the argument. You are playing the egoic game when you engage in the argument. The person who is living from an egoic state of consciousness cannot even see what they are doing. They cannot see themselves, because they are focused outward—externally—trying to fill themselves up, trying to fill that emptiness, that feeling of not being good enough up, by stroking their ego. 
Never argue with delusional people, otherwise you will get sucked into the vortex of delusion.
People who live from an egoic state of consciousness have an egoic desire to criticize others and prove that they are right, which is all just imagination—notions. That feeling of being right gives them a superficial high. It is like egoic crack. It never fills them up. It is a temporary high, so they have to keep repeating their destructive and self-sabotaging behavior. Criticism separates people. It pushes people away. It does not come from the spirit. It is not the spiritual way.
When we live our lives from spirit—from pure awareness—we do not label, judge, or criticize others. Peace, awareness, love and joy does not fight, does not look to start a fight and does not become defensive. This is the job of the ego.
When someone is projecting a negative energy, a negative remark, even if it is in verbal self-defense, they are allowing their ego to take the driver’s seat. It is not about being right or wrong. That is ego land. A person will never experience their natural peace and joy if they are constantly projecting negativity and non-acceptance outward. We have to accept ourselves 100%. No one is superior nor inferior to another—to other life forms. 
Your True Self is Spirit—Pure Awareness—Uncontaminated By the Dualistic Mind.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Quote

People who live their life from their spirit and love from their heart find it impossible to hate another human being. 
~Pamela J. Wells

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

If You Focus On The Finger, You Will Miss The Moon

By Pamela J. Wells

However you realize your true Self, your true nature is irrelevant. There is no wrong way, right way to realize Self. The ego likes to attach itself to words, ideas, right, wrong, etc. Teachers and teachings are just fingers pointing at the moon. If someone (enlightened being, anyone) points you to your true Self, your true nature, pure awareness, pure consciousness, which is egoless, it doesn’t matter who the person is. It could be a “guru”, a child, a homeless person. Thich Nhat Hanh quoting the Buddha, "My teachings are a finger pointing to the moon. Do not get caught in thinking that the finger is the moon. It is because of the finger that you can see the moon." The ego likes to say what is the wrong way what is the right way. It is all the imagination. Words and concepts are not truth. At best, they can point to truth, but they are not truth. Language is limited. If you get too caught up in spiritual terminology, right/wrong, then you are still playing on the monkey bars of the mind.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Feel free to add a comment, if there is anything that you would like to add or any experiences that you would care to share.

New URL Address for the "Selfless Being Blog"

Please Update Your Bookmarks for the Selfless Being Blog!

Here is the new blog address for that blog:

http://blog.selflessbeing.com/ 

Love & Acceptance

By Pamela J. Wells

The more you love, the more you openly embrace and accept others, unconditionally, the more you accept yourself—the more at peace you are inside, the more joyful you are, the more peaceful your relationships are, the more magnetic you are, the more you attract people to you, who enjoy being around you, who enjoy your presence.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Judgment Vs. Love & Acceptance

By Pamela J. Wells

When one judges another, they are judging what they see, a body, the way in which the person appears on the outside, to them—based upon their biases, faulty and false perceptions, their assumptions. They associate and attach certain labels with and to that person. They do not see the essence, the spirit, of the person, which cannot be seen with the eyes. 
Judgment comes from notions about people, about the world, about beliefs over this or that—from one’s perspective; and, in many instances, their perspective is tainted by other people’s perspectives, the perspective of a group of people, or what is considered the norm perspective of a society—the delusional perspective—that starts out, from it base, its foundation, unstable, faulty and, many times, completely false.  
When they hear someone say or see someone do something that goes against what they believe and think, or is what they perceive to be wrong, they get a superficial high from judging them, calling them names, attaching labels to them, gossiping about them—when they fail to remember or to know that their judgments are based upon their own faulty and false perceptions, notions and beliefs, not the other person. 
The essence of a person cannot be labeled. The superficial, delusional high from judgment temporarily takes that person’s mind off of their own problems, guilt, pain and suffering. Judgment does not fill them up; although they think it does. They are attempting to fill their ego up, which is not real. It is just notions. It is a futile attempt to fill the emptiness and feelings of lack and insecurity that they have inside due to their identification with the ego and wanting to feel valuable and worthy based upon some notion of what valuable and worthy is—looks like. 
Delusion is believing that some are superior and others are inferior, some are more valuable and others are not so valuable. When one views themselves as being inferior or faulty in some way, they are quick to judge others. Instead of going within and identifying their faulty and false perceptions and notions about themselves and others—and releasing them—they are turned outward, externally, judging and lashing out at others.
When someone makes a not-so-good choice in life—to judge them, call them names, attach labels to them, attempting to belittle them with one’s judgment—that kind of behavior says more about that person than the one that they are judging. Nobody is perfect, we all make good and not-so-good choices throughout our lifetime. It is delusional to think that one person never makes not-so-good choices and are therefore some imaginary superior being to everyone else. This delusional way of perceiving oneself and the world comes from seeing everyone as separate, instead of seeing everyone as being a part of the same life force that enables us to exist. It comes from the egoic state of consciousness, which is not even real. It is only as real as one believes in their notions about themselves and the world around them. Spirit, essence, awareness, love—does not judge anyone. Judgment comes from the dualistic mind and all of its notions. The more you judge, the more you push others away from you. The more you become isolated. 
The more you love, the more you openly embrace and accept others, unconditionally, the more you accept yourself—the more at peace you are inside, the more joyful you are, the more peaceful your relationships are, the more magnetic you are, the more you attract people to you, who enjoy being around, who enjoy your presence.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com
Feel free to add a comment, if there is anything that you would like to add or any experiences that you would care to share.

Quote

Expand Your Universe. Expand Your Thoughts.
Expand Your Imagination. Be Open To The Possibilities.

~Pamela J. Wells~

Image licensed under Bigstockphoto.com

Quote

"How People Treat You Is Their Karma; How You React Is Yours."

~ Wayne Dyer ~

Quote

The ego is an illusion, but the problem herein lies, when we believe that we are the ego. 

~ Pamela J. Wells ~

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved